The Seven Dwarves of Beauty Products.

Stinky, Greasy, Rashful, Skanky, Clumpy, Sticky, Yucky:  Assessing an assortment of eye pencils, lipsticks, and perfume - I realized how these descriptions could very well be the names of a new set of dwarves - The Seven Dwarves of Beauty Products... except for none of these dwarves are good to have around.  The Seven Trolls of Beauty Products. 

How much money do we spend on little beauty/fragrance odds and ends hoping to enhance our appearance/aura and delight our mates... and how many of those beauty treats feel - instead - like a merchandising trick.  There are pencils that drag the skin and tingle the eyes, shallow shimmer sprinkled thinly on the surface of the lipstick or shadow, fragrance that lingers and becomes invasive - like a bad guest, colors that look promising in the container - thinning or morphing once applied.  Stinky, Greasy, Clumpy, Sticky, and Yucky make themselves known right away - but Rashful and Skanky, are even a bit sneaky too.

Maybe Skanky is the worst of these beauty trolls.  In hoping to look or smell chic, you try something different - and realize later - the effect is quite the opposite... what you thought was shimmer is instead chunky glitter... or the fruity fragrance casts a spell of fermentation.

Stinky, Rashful, Skanky, and Yucky most frequently appear at fragrance counters, but have not yet frightened me away - so persistent am I in my pursuit of sniffing out the perfect scent.  Here's a typical session... spritz, wave, sniff - floral alcohol... spritz, wave, sniff - floral alcohol... spritz, wave, sniff - alcoholic fruit... spritz, wave, sniff - fruity floral... spritz, wave, sniff - citrus floral... spritz, wave, sniff - floral vanilla - and so on, until - I bid farewell to Stinky, Rashful, Skanky, Yucky and the entire department of fragrance.  Where are Edgy, Advanced, Mysterious, Mesmerizing, Intellectual, Responsible, and Absolutely Great when we need them?