The Scent Museum: Smeller's Delight Part 1.

Sniffing everything under the sun in a search for something wonderful - and feeling olfactorily frustrated - has culminated in an idea for a museum to delight smellers like me.

Since I'm imagining this - I suppose the idea can be fantastic and out-of-the box - without considering feasibility.  Let's imagine you visit this museum:

The grey, stone exterior of the museum is not flashy, the only hint to the interior being a concrete walkway displaying sunken floral and herbal impressions... shadows or whispers of fragrant components.  There's a tranquil fountain, surrounded by neutrally-scented grasses and trees. 

Upon reception, you receive a necklace-contraption which works like a hummingbird's beak, but fits over your nose - and a map.  Aroma rooms are designated by origin - Floral, Wood, Herb, Spice, Fruit, Animal (or similarly appropriate classifications) and feature numerous smell-sampling stations. 

To obtain a scent, you - the sniffer, don your hummer's-beak and press it against a tiny rubber portal-spot (some conditioner bottles have these rubber seals, which open when squeezed... but in this instance, the fragrance beak penetrates the seal). 

I have also imagined the smell-sampling stations being built like mix-and-match candy bins, outfitted with magnetized lids and with vacuum and release buttons to retract or emit scents.

However you want to envision obtaining the scent... follow that idea from room to room - sniffing away at whatever intrigues you.  The idea here is that The Scent Museum is not affiliated with any certain perfumers and therefore is not promoting specific perfumers, but is instead educating the public nose and stimulating the common and collective imagination.

Even more scientifically - The Scent Museum might equip you with simple and non-invasive monitors that register your response to smells you experience during your visit - and upon journey's completion... you receive a print-out, which you can present at a mixing counter - where it is possible to purchase a completely personalized essential aroma that defines and delights you.

The Scent Museum would - at least, to me - be the fragrance-lover's equivalent of Roald Dahl's Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

The Seven Dwarves of Beauty Products.

Stinky, Greasy, Rashful, Skanky, Clumpy, Sticky, Yucky:  Assessing an assortment of eye pencils, lipsticks, and perfume - I realized how these descriptions could very well be the names of a new set of dwarves - The Seven Dwarves of Beauty Products... except for none of these dwarves are good to have around.  The Seven Trolls of Beauty Products. 

How much money do we spend on little beauty/fragrance odds and ends hoping to enhance our appearance/aura and delight our mates... and how many of those beauty treats feel - instead - like a merchandising trick.  There are pencils that drag the skin and tingle the eyes, shallow shimmer sprinkled thinly on the surface of the lipstick or shadow, fragrance that lingers and becomes invasive - like a bad guest, colors that look promising in the container - thinning or morphing once applied.  Stinky, Greasy, Clumpy, Sticky, and Yucky make themselves known right away - but Rashful and Skanky, are even a bit sneaky too.

Maybe Skanky is the worst of these beauty trolls.  In hoping to look or smell chic, you try something different - and realize later - the effect is quite the opposite... what you thought was shimmer is instead chunky glitter... or the fruity fragrance casts a spell of fermentation.

Stinky, Rashful, Skanky, and Yucky most frequently appear at fragrance counters, but have not yet frightened me away - so persistent am I in my pursuit of sniffing out the perfect scent.  Here's a typical session... spritz, wave, sniff - floral alcohol... spritz, wave, sniff - floral alcohol... spritz, wave, sniff - alcoholic fruit... spritz, wave, sniff - fruity floral... spritz, wave, sniff - citrus floral... spritz, wave, sniff - floral vanilla - and so on, until - I bid farewell to Stinky, Rashful, Skanky, Yucky and the entire department of fragrance.  Where are Edgy, Advanced, Mysterious, Mesmerizing, Intellectual, Responsible, and Absolutely Great when we need them?

Toile La La F/W 2014 Romantic Souls RTW Pre-Show.

Meindert Hobbema A View on a High Road 1665, wikipaintings.

Please select the following links to view YouTube videos.  
Toile La La Romantic Souls Fashion show commences promptly at 1:00 EST... Open a new Art Fashion Creation Link at 1:00 to enjoy the presentation.

• Gorillaz.  "Oh Green World".
• Ennio Morricone.  "Two Mules for Sister Sara".
• Jean Jacques Perrey.  "Aerology".
• Rolling Stones.  "You Can't Always Get What You Want".
• Goldfrapp.  "Ooh La La".
• Phantogram.  "When I'm Small".
• Jean Michel Jarre.  "E.V.A."

For the more olfactorily-motivated ilk among you, there's a fragrance to imagine - which incorporates:

• sun-dried linen 
• the scent of leather
• fresh-cut hay
• grass cuttings
• a bit of pine bark
• velvety green moss
• a bit of lavender
• hints of rose varieties
• patchouli
• clover
• sandalwood incense
• shavings of hickory nutshell

Revolutionary Prom Idea: The New Prom Date.

Prom - Please now Imagine the word Prom spoken by Tim Curry - perhaps after he's eaten too many wonderful, sticky, gooey, yicky candies and is offered yet one more.

Prom spoken by Tim Curry using his A Series of Unfortunate Events reading-voice.

Prom with its scurrying and hurrying flurry of excitement about who will be seen with whom and the plight and the doom thereafter.

Prom with its too tight too shiny too too too-ness whizzing by in a stretch limousine woofers-thumping hot-tubness.

Prom with its unfortunate accidents of excess indulgence.

Now Please Imagine the New and Improved Prom Date: A Stack of Books.  No worries of the cummerbund or tie or boutonniere matching your dress and corsage.

The books won't vomit on you after too many post-prom liquor-infused melon-balls.

The books won't grope you as the lights dim, or sneak a feel as they pin your corsage... they have no hands with which to do these things.  Books are full of page after page of goodness and knowledge.  Books don't look at you - with disappointment because you don't want to do what they want you to do and they do not frown when you don't look like they want you to look.  A book is a book and you are in charge of choosing it wisely and can very easily drop it in the library's book-drop if you don't like it.  Can you do that with any other prom date?  I think not... although, it might be nice.

For a start, if you'd like a prom date who does all the talking - look for any of Lemony Snicket's Series of Unfortunate Events audiobooks - some are narrated by Tim Curry.

Here is an imaginary prom photo - imagined by Toile La La... maybe it is Toile La La - in another time, or dimension... all the details are not quite there... the scene (typical of imagined time) is hazy.

Books:  The New Prom Date - illustrated by Toile La La at Art Fashion Creation, February 2013.

A large park - somewhere in France, not in the hustle and bustle... but somewhere discreet.  The early morning is crisp with fog - with droplets of moisture in the atmosphere.  It's chilly enough for the complexion to produce a natural blush and glow. The sky: grey-white with puffs of dove-blue clouds - rain is in the forecast, but still hours away.

Someone has thoughtfully canopied a grove of trees. Lush, green nature provides the prom scenery. Scattered among verdant leaves and fragrant flora are elegant sofas.

Birdsong and the sound of fountains decorate the air.

The Look Here:
Hair - Marie Antoinette piled-high with powder. Embellished with pink velvet flowers and silver leaves.
Maquillage - Silver eye-gloss, silver lip-creme... nothing else.
Scent - peppermint, spearmint, clove.
Sofa - Porcelain-pink high gloss scrollwork, linen vintage toile print.
Dress - Bisque white taffeta with pale tulle overlays, black velvet ruched waist - accented with dove-blue velvet rose and black tulle flourish.
Gloves - Porcelain pink soft, brushed cloth.

The Footwear and The Books are concepts with potential, still being imagined. 

This imagined foot attire is - in concept - like boxer's fist-bindings, but the fit is comfortable and secure... "mummy boots" is a name that comes to mind.  Mummy Boots are soft and suede-like with visible wrappings, zip-on or slip-on:  a dancer's best friend.  Dance in them for hours, then get back to your books.

Why don't you create your own date?  Write some books or fill them with sketches or make fake books from trompe l'oeil-ed packages or papier mache.

Stay tuned for DIY prom-formal fashion ideas in an upcoming Art Fashion Creation post. 

(And here they are - all 25!  Ideas for creating your own look from head to toe... you don't even have to sew.)

And now... a poem:

PROM... it

rhymes with

VOM... IT.

But not with a stack of books for a prom date.

Spritz Overload: A Tale of Sniff and Run.

Hook, line, and stinker... the perfume packaging reeled me in.  I spritzed each arm with several of these sprays - packaged in charming boxes resembling miniature bohemian-artsy apartments.  I hurried out the store with a pretty good idea of the names - Gina, Rita, Carmella, Bella - and arm location.  For Mother's Day, I asked for Gina - but now that she's here, I'm pretty sure the scent that enticed me was actually a melange of the migrating fragrances.

Nevertheless, Benefit's graphic design artists outdid themselves with the boxes housing the eau de toilette sprays!  My imagination ran overtime thinking about how I would wear Mary Katrantzou creations and live in this box if I were a 2-dimensional and tiny person.

Photo Toile La La.  Benefit Packaging.

Photo Toile La La.  Benefit Packaging.

Photo Toile La La.  Benefit Packaging.

Photo Toile La La.  Benefit Packaging.

Note to Gina:  Fed the flamingo.  I had a lovely stay!

Photo Toile La La.  Benefit Packaging.  Collage using Mary Katrantzou dress design.

Suitcases ready.  Flamingo at right, blushing with health.  I designed a velvet rose-petal hat to wear for departure.  The lampshade dress was a bit short - but in the smaller photo above you'll see I added to the hem a modest indigo lace border.

Photo Toile La La.  Benefit Packaging.  Collage using Mary Katrantzou dress design.

The dress center bodice features a glowing chandelier, so a chandelier chapeau seemed in order.  Please pay no attention to the one hand looking like a foot.